Dear Livy,

By the time you read this and can make good sense of it, I imagine you will be at least 8 years old. Every year, I try to write to you on your birthday, and on today wouldn’t be an exception. First and foremost, Happy birthday and welcome to age 3. How does it feel?

Girl, I love you with every fibre of my being. I count it a privilege to be your father and most importantly, I am glad I have a court side seat in your life.

So, what has the last 1 year been like? Let’s talk about age two to 3.

Growth.

First, you completed your immunisation shots. Congratulation, we now wait for the last and final one that will come at age 9. We moved to a new home. You now have a room to yourself, albeit, it will be easier to get a camel through the eye of a needle than to get you to sleep in that room and we finally wrapped up potty training. This means, you don’t get to use diapers again during the day, you only use it at night. Let’s hope by age 4, you will do away with diapers completely.

Your nutrition changed too; as the African girl that you are, you now demolish garri ye Afang effortlessly. Your dentition are strong enough to cut into meat and girl, you really like chicken. You have outgrown all your onesies. All of them. Your shoe size is different and you wear pop socks almost on a daily basis. Oh, you don’t need a bib now when you eat.

You can now speak properly and I really like that because we can now have beautiful conversations. Your gait is stronger now to the point where you stomp on the stairs when you walk. You enjoy cycling and scooting too. And your stuttering is beautiful!!!!.

Education

September, you got enrolled in pre-school and girl, was I nervous on your first day? I was worried how you will fair, but to my greatest surprise, you blended in quite well and quickly. This is the part of your life that gives me the greatest joy. You went from a blank slate to recognizing and reading alphabets, differentiating shapes and colour, but most importantly, writing. You can write down the alphabets and numbers from 1 through 30. This, my darling, is amazing. We still need to work on your pencil grip though.

I like that you can now blend with other kids, express yourself and you’re learning interpersonal relationship. Until recently, I always thought your best friend, Detola was a girl. Don’t blame me, parental instinct.

The flip side of schooling is that we don’t have a clean wall again. Every wall is a canvas and a white board. You draw, paint and scribble with reckless abandon. I am not mad, but what would be cool is still allowing dad enjoy a pristine wall for a few more months.

A few weeks ago, I watched you take part in your first school play. Watching you and your brother on that stage doing your thing has been my highlight of the year thus far. Proud daddy moments.

Health.

One night In February/March of last year, we went to bed like every other night, but by 10PM, you experienced your first sign of distress. Your mum tried rocking you to sleep, but nothing worked. Frankly, I thought you were just being mischievous, but by 6AM it was clear you needed medical attention. We tried out 3 different hospitals that day and finally got recommended a good one around 8PM. The trip between the 3rd and 4th hospital is one that has been etched into my memory and will remain there forever. Seeing you in that ambulance with oxygen and drip broke me. Until that day, the last time I cried that hard was when your maternal great grand mum was being laid to rest.

From that night, we spent the next 8 - 9 months in and out of the hospitals. We spent as much as 2 weeks in some months and even more in other months. Grateful to all the medical professionals that attended to you, grateful to the Ntui’s, Obi’s, your uncles and aunties for all their love, prayer and care. Age 2 was one rough year, but glad you’re still here with us.

Spiritual growth.

I like that at an early age, you like to pray. You pray for any and everything. I like how you pray before meal time. I like how you pray on our way to school and before you eat your snacks. I like the fact that you enjoy bible bed time stories and you enjoy Sunday school too. I also like that you’re learning classic bible stories at an early age. Your favourite seems to be the story of Abraham sacrificing his only son, Isaac.

A ton has been written about child care and raising a child, while those materials are good, there are no silver bullets to these things. I guess what I am trying to say is that there is no template for raising a child. Your mum and I will hack this as we go along. We will make mistakes, but I promise you, we will course correct immediately.

I have spent a few years on this place called earth, I will try and share with you what I have learned during this time:

1. Work hard. There is absolutely no substitute for this. While there is such a thing as luck, but the harder you work, the luckier you will get. Put in the work.
2. God. Keep God at the centre of all you do. It’s impossible to go through life without God.
3. Relationship. This is one of life’s best gifts to us. Keep and maintain a healthy relationship with people. And when you get into one, don’t abuse it. Don’t take undue advantage of it. Seek to contribute more than you take. Don’t become a parasite.
4. Fairness and Equity. Treat people first as humans, irrespective of their social standing. Be fair and just in all your dealings. Do unto them, what you will like to be done to you. I can’t stress this enough, respect everyone.
5. Mistakes. There will always be mistakes. You will make them, consciously and unconsciously. But when you make them, learn from the experience and move on. Don’t dwell too much on it. Never accept a pity party. NEVER.
6. Peer pressure. We will do our best to show you the right way, don’t deviate from it. Don’t let anyone make you do what you know doesn’t align with your values as a person. Be your own man.
7. Finances. Keep an eye on your finances. Always SAVE. You will always need it.
8. Emotions. Watch your temperament. I haven’t done much of a great job here myself, but thanks to your mum, I am learning a lot from her. When you get angry, watch what you say. Never let anger get the best of you. There are always consequences when you can’t put your emotions in check.
9. Passion. Follow your passion, this will be your one true source of happiness.

Livy, you know I love and I don’t have any plans of stopping. You’re an amazing girl, your smile is infectious and I am incredibly proud of the little lady that you’re becoming. As you grow older, I want you to learn a few things;

Until next year, happy birthday, darling.

Love, dad.

I'll love to hear from you

Do you want to say hello? Email me - celestineomin@gmail.com

I tweet at @cyberomin