Lee’s best friends

Lee,

It’s been a solid year since I wrote to you. It wasn’t for lack of time or laziness, I just didn’t want to bore you and I have decided to write once, at least for now, every year. So, let’s do a year in review. I will try to keep this short.

The Accident.

Exactly 21 days from today, last year, we had gone to see your grandparents. And with those trips, we have multiple friends and families to go see. On one of such visits, I took your grand father’s car and off we went.

On a freeway, I was averaging about 70 - 80km/hr, when the front axle gave in, I swerved and the car collided head-on with the streetlight barricade and spun 180 degrees. The airbags were engaged and the door close to the driver’s seat got really damaged, it narrowly missed my left foot. You sat behind with your mum, and because of the impact, you fell off your seat and collided with the passenger’s seat in front. Your mum also hit her head and face, you did same too and the funny thing is all of this happened in about 30 seconds.

When the car stopped, I managed to get out as quickly as I could from the passenger’s side. Forced open the back doors where you and your mum sat and helped both of you out. She laid on the ground crying, you cried too and at that point, I lost it. I cried, not because of an injury that I sustained but out of the fact that 30 seconds earlier, I could have lost my entire family. To this day, the memory of that event is still fresh in my head.

Luckily for us, your uncle, aunt and cousins were headed just towards us. Your uncle recognised your grand father’s car and stopped. I called Pastor Cyril Ntui, and between him and your uncle, I am not sure who took your mum to the hospital. Your aunt took you home and I stayed back to get your grand father’s car towed to a safe place. My consolation was that both you and your mum had people looking out for you two.

As soon as the towing van and mechanic arrived, they towed the car to the mechanic’s garage while I made my way to the hospital. I can’t remember what happened at the hospital, but I think I probably raised my voice at a medical staff. I am sorry I lost my cool, but I was just tired of their sluggish attitude.

You know something, there was a third person at the back seat with you and your mum, yup, your sister was with you, albeit she was just a fetus. Your mum was in the early stage of her first trimester. I was worried about her well being too. I was scared, to be honest, we conducted a series of test and the doctors confirmed she was fine. Thank God.

Well, that single incident led to so many hospital trips this year. As a family, we have collectively done more hospital trips this year than the last 3 years put together. Your mum is a strong woman, you and I will have to talk about all she went through this year, we will have that conversation over a bottle of wine and a fireplace.

Do you see the folks at Paystack? When you grow older, I will love you and your sister to send a “THANK YOU” card to them. They are amazing people. Send one to Uncle Kola Aina too. He’s an amazing man.

Milestones

Last year, I made you a promise, and that promise was that you will get your own room, well, promised fulfilled. But I have a grouse with you; learn to make your own bed young man and clean after yourself. This is the sign of maturity.

Also, you got into school too. Man, I can’t tell you how excited I am. You getting to school tops every other personal achievement this year. Here’s why you going to school meant a lot to me. For as long as I can remember, your grandfather had always drummed into our ears the importance of education. He kept reminding your uncles, aunts and I why we need to send his grandkids to school. Well, he never got much himself, so his wishes have always been that every one of his descendant must get an education. The day I paid your first school fee was easily one of the proudest moments of my life.

Still on the school front, I looked forward to you, beginning the school year. Your mum made sure all your supplies were intact. I probably asked your headteacher 1001 questions. Why wouldn’t I? I wanted to make sure you had the best experience we could possibly provide you.

On your first day in school, I woke you up, eagerly gave your bath, served your meal, packed your bags and drove you to school. Your mum, nanny, grandmum and I cheered you on. We were all excited. I drove you to school whistling. Man, I was excited, my tiny man was finally going to school. When I dropped you off and you ran after me crying, my heart melted. I held the tears as much as I could but when I got into the car, the whole thing came pouring. I got home and pretty much thought about you the entire time, to be honest, I was worried; how will you cope? How will you fit in? Will your teachers remember to serve you your snack?

By 12:45 PM I was already out to go pick you up. I couldn’t wait for the 1 PM closing time. But look at you today, you’re as eager as anything to get to school daily. Congrats son, a lot can happen in 10 weeks.

10 weeks later, you can confidently write from 0 - 5 and A-D. That’s a huge progress man. You are begining to speak clearly now. You have also finally figured out the difference between a leopard and a tiger. I am proud of you. Well done.

Big Brother

Your sister is here. Yup, God kept her, she is here, hale and hearty and man, she’s the most adorable younger sister any brother could ask for. I envy you, I never had a younger sister. I’m so sorry that for the last 4 months, most of the attention had somehow been diverted to her, but I am sure you understand, she is still a baby and needs us to pay that much attention to her. Don’t worry, there are enough love and attention to go round.

She’s beautiful and has the cutest smile you will ever see on a four months old. Even though she’s four months old, she’s already wearing clothes meant for 6 - 9 months old. She’s got big cheeks too. An amazing girl all-round. You see those onesies we got for her just a few months ago? She’s outgrown them.

Aside from your sister, you are now a big brother to 3 amazing cousins. A lot is now expected of you man, act the part. Your uncle and aunts all did great this year.

Random

After the birth of your sister, your grandmum came around and spent about 3 months with us. God bless her. Your sister got a huge diapers gift too from the good people of Patricia; thanks Hanu, Chika and team. I am learning a ton of patience too and most importantly, learning to breathe. Yeah, I know it sounds funny, but I found out that when things begin to get out of hand, walking and pacing my breathing helps a lot. It brings calm and helps me clear my head.

You’re becoming a lot more aware of yourself and surrounding. Daily, I ask myself if I am doing all the right things I should be doing; am I leading you right? Setting all the great examples? Where am I dropping the ball as a father? These questions and many more are what occupy’s my mind these days. I make mistakes, maybe daily, but here is one thing I am certain, I am learning as fast as I can and course-correcting as I go.

All of the clothes we got for you last year are no longer your size. It seems you grow by the second. So for this year’s shopping, we got you clothes that you will wear till your 5th birthday. I am sorry, but it had to happen.

The Road Ahead.

Three is a big milestone, you’re getting to know a lot about yourself. For one, you’re in school now, a part of me wants to believe you have already started forging relationships with your school mates, please do. These things are important. You can now feed yourself, you can now express yourself when you need anything or help; food, ease yourself or want to sleep. And man, stop throwing tantrums when you want anything, kings don’t behave like that. Just ask and you will get it.

Finally, I will love to leave you with these few life lessons, there are not different from what I said to you last year;

• Work hard. There is absolutely no substitute for this. While there is such a thing as luck, but the harder you work, the luckier you will get. Put in the work.

• God. Keep God at the centre of all you do. It’s impossible to go through life without God.

• Relationship. This is one of life’s best gifts to us. Keep and maintain a healthy relationship with people. And when you get into one, don’t abuse it. Don’t take undue advantage of it. Seek to contribute more than you take. Don’t become a parasite.

• Fairness and Equity. Treat people first as humans, irrespective of their social standing. Be fair and just in all your dealings. Do unto them, what you will like to be done to you. I can’t stress this enough, respect everyone.

• Mistakes. There will always be mistakes. You will make them, consciously and unconsciously. But when you make them, learn from the experience and move on. Don’t dwell too much on it. Never accept a pity party. NEVER.

• Peer pressure. We will do our best to show you the right way, don’t deviate from it. Don’t let anyone make you do what you know doesn’t align with your values as a person. Be your own man.

• Finances. Keep an eye on your finances. Always SAVE. You will always need it.

• Emotions. Watch your temperament. I haven’t done much of a great job here myself, but thanks to your mum, I am learning a lot from her. When you get angry, watch what you say. Never let anger get the best of you. There are always consequences when you can’t put your emotions in check.

• Passion. Follow your passion, this will be your one true source of happiness.

These last 3 years has been super amazing, I feel incredibly honoured to be called your father, you make fatherhood fun and thank you for being an amazing kid. I love you.

A ton of your social media aunts and uncles sends their greetings; Aunty Chi, Aunty Tika, Uncle Tunde, Ebere, Samuel, Aunty Yetunde, Saheed and a host of other amazing people. God bless them all.

Happy birthday, King. Love, Dad.

I'll love to hear from you

Do you want to say hello? Email me - celestineomin@gmail.com

I tweet at @cyberomin